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Critique please. Is the word during 'de trop' in this case or does it fulfil a function compatible with classical haiku? And what about the use of the -ing form in this haiku: either as Gerund, Present Participle or as part of the Present Continuous [ are gilding] where 'are' is implied? Does it fulfil the role of the present tense required by the classical haiku? I'd be interested to hear your opinion. |
© Girl Friday
Written for a prompt at CarpeDiem
2 comments:
Very interesting - normally would say get rid of that ''during'' immediately and put a -dash! but when i read it, it all fit so well. In fact it resonates as a rare, read haiku, in the last line. What I do find difficult and destructive is the way the hiku always appears a second time in the grey box below the main presentation. Think it shouldn't-. Very interesting post!
Hiya hamish,
thanks. but....
destructive?
seems a bit strong for something so innocuous as a text box -
can't you just ignore that?
That would never have occurred to me.
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