Translated haiku

Och natten strömmar från öster till väster med månens hastighet. Copyright Thomas Tranströmer My translation would be: and nights are flowing from the East to the West with the haste of the Moon haste rather than speed. Haste infers that things are going too fast and in possibly too unconsidered a fashion. Like in "Act in haste, repent at leisure" sort of thing. That doesn't really fit in with the set orbit of the Moon, cast in stone and certainly not designed in haste nor ever varying in speed. I'm assuming hastighet is not the general word for speed in Swedish? hastighet: velocity ; speed ; driving speed ; haste ; hurry ; rush ; hastiness ; overhaste ; quickness Wiktionary: hastighet → , velocity , speed , pace , appearance , aspect , look , sight , view , countenance , guise , respect , promptness , promptitude , quickness , swiftness , rapidity Now which of these shades of meaning would the original author have chosen? I'm not completely happy with his usage of the word in this haiku in any of the possible definitions. Nor do I like seeing 'med' [ = with ] at the end of the middle line. To my eye it gives this haiku the look of short prose rather than a gem of poetry.  This would be a poor enjambment even for poetry where its use would be acceptable: An ordinary preposition linking two parts of a sentence together without any excuse for a final place in a sentence, does not look good in a haiku of this nature to me. As regards the function of the Moon in this poem: I see the Moon not as the main character in this, but more as a witness to things she can't change. She falls in with what the situation requires, more like a willing collaborator than a protagonist. For those reasons my lines would be: Sunlight travels west it drags the day in its wake we make do with the Moon. I placed the Sun and the Moon at either end of the haiku, giving balance and structure to the haiku. I chose the verb 'drag' showing the day to be reluctant to leave us [ and vice versa ] rhymed 'wake' and make' because I love a bit of melodious rhyme, even where it is not expected to be used the verb 'make do with' indicating that in the scheme of things, the Moon is secondary to the Sun, in our opinion if not in the whole of nature. I selected drags / day / make do / for assonance with the letter -d- The poem sums up our role in nature, where we may have minor influence, but as a rule are subjected to laws larger than ourselves. We have to accept this even though we don't always like to. Line one presents a statement of fact Line two is still fact but begins to introduce opinion Then comes the volta: Line three introduces humanity, as a contrast to the planets and also expresses our dissatisfaction with the state of things. After all, most of us would love to have more daylight, if not necessarily sunlight. And now we come to the irony of the whole thing: the original haiku was composed in a country where day and night play games throughout the seasons.

Written for a prompt at CarpeDiem